dull life

the bleakest of memories suddenly rush like a night train over worked by coal flashes in the night. a sudden dream, where it brings me back to the years, before i knew life. the sudden burst of micheal jacksons rendition of come together livens up the air. as i look at the dull life band, looking on, for they aren’t able to play me micheal jackson songs. i pick up the dull looking spoon, digging into my rice. the taste of piping hot rice dances on the tip of my tongue. the fragrance is followed by a metallic after taste. and a i look on, the band is playing, the bill is being settled. laughing, drinking the fizziness remains of my coke, we depart the restaurant. wild west tavern, the signage bore, on a bare wood in oak dull color. step by step, i walk. holding my little brothers hand, as he struggles to walk. the walk seems long, never ending. with every step, the shadows that reflect on the floor continue to induce me, into thoughts. pass the gate, i hear a gasp. i look back up. in warm lights, the trees rustling, a car parking, a shadow forming. a familiar shadow. one that i seem to know. and as the light, bounces of this figure, it registers.

my first memories, they were never the best. my first memories, i wish i could erase. 

the silhouette forming, a shadow which remains with me. 

for how long, do i have to live. living with this memory.